Hashtag 1.0

Hashtag was WOW!!!

The Choir was angelic oh Lord! Their sound was too sweet. The decor was lovely! I must say the Baptizing Church has a very beautiful facility. The speakers were sincere, honest and as real as they could be. The turn up was massive as expected and all the groups were represented, unequally yet represented nonetheless; in English, men came too!

Notable among the couples in attendance was a couple called to share their story on the spur of the moment. Turns out they met on Facebook and are getting married in September after a 2 year friendship and a 1 year courtship respectively. The summary of the story was how God united both of them while they were occupied with the tasks He had given them individually. They were both intentional about their purpose as well as the purpose of the relationship even before it started so their success is not a surprise. The climax of their story was when they revealed to over 300 people there seated that their relationship is 100% chaste, just like God intended. 

People, I tell you, don't think you're the only one living your life like God instructed in this sin consumed world because there are over 7,000 prophets who haven't bowed down to Baal.

The speakers were amazing! 

Femi Jacobs lived up to the fame spread about him. Truths kept flying off his lips every time he got to speak. I was a little worried after making my preshow post that I wouldn't gain anything from his session because I had such high expectations, now, I realise how totally unnecessary worrying was because his session was absolutely mind blowing and his words have provoked deep thought and action.

Top on the list of what he said and the central theme of his thought process, in my opinion is, "We exaggerate our level of preparedness for marriage". 

We think we have dated long enough or we are old enough or we're financially independent enough to get married. But to be truly prepared you have to come to stature in love by bearing fruits of love that remain. And that's the plain truth! Until you manifest all the characteristics of 1st Corinthians 13 every single time with every single person (not just your intended spouse/loved ones) in every single moment irrespective of disparity in financial, social, physical, spiritual status or even circumstance you are not a healthy enough individual that should be joined to someone else.

Pastor Morin Osunmakinde approached singlehood from another dimension in her session. She talked expressly about singlehood before and in marriage. Celebration of singlehood before marriage is not foreign to us, in my opinion it is the state of emotional stability that involves finding joy in life with absolutely no influence from the opposite sex. A common misconception is that women are the only one who don't know how to be single but the truth is some men too are a victim of this. Some of the signs are: they feel the need to always have a lady around, physically or nowadays virtually, primarily involved in providing and maintaining their joy, validating their actions, constantly making them feel good about themselves etc.

Singlehood in marriage however, is very important and only easy when the art has been mastered as a single person. This concept involves retaining your identity as an individual while still working as a team with your spouse, like the Trinity (God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost). It does not include stifling your spouse's personality or conforming it to yours because you both are different, it is a harmonious blend of different musical instruments to form a Grammy award winning song. I feel this topic is especially apt because herein lies the reason a lot of men and women alike are hesitant to start the marriage journey - they don't want their identities to be swallowed up in the marriage. 

And who can blame them? Many people lose their fully formed lives after marriage. The husband tries to make the woman into his own image and vice versa. For some, their world revolves around their spouses; they don't have friends, hobbies or recreation time except those they and their spouses mutually engage in. 

A marriage is not a prison cell! It is a place where two individuals (different or similar in character) come together to help each other bloom into the best versions of themselves first as individuals (before and during the marriage) and then as a team (before and during the marriage as well).

I think baring that in mind will reduce some of the pressure on hesitant couples.

Pastor Dele Osumakinde wrapped up the event with so much depth but I'll highlight 3 things that stuck with me.

1, Find your identity first.

2. Your relationship is a tool in the hands of God 

3. Do not be intimidated, if God is in it, it will work out.

1, Knowing your identity -your heritage, purpose, destiny and God-given assignment- is the first step to finding yourself. Self discovery is what helps you maximise your time of singleness, transition into marriage seamlessly and enjoy a blissful union with your spouse. When you find yourself, it would be easy for you to identify if someone is a perfect fit to aid you attain God's predestined plan over your life. 

Self discovery also makes it easy for you to identify and distinguish between your God-given human resources and the person/ people with whom you are best suited for relationship. 

Deciding who you want to be as well as what legacy you want to live behind can help you map out your values and once your values are set before you make your choices, you will be preserved from wrong relationships.

2, The Bible has numerous instances of men and women whose relationships were tools in God's hand for the fulfilment of His glorious cause. Mary and Joseph's relationship for instance were not only formed for the purpose of birthing Christ but also joined to serve as examples to us of the kind of characters we should exhibit at all times especially in trying times. Their relationship modelled obedience to God, sensitivity, kindness, consideration of the other person's need, thoughtfulness, selflessness etc. Like with Mary and Joseph, God is writing a story with our relationships and we have a responsibility to align ourselves to the script of that story.

3. This is especially to the men who disqualify themselves because they feel their spouse is out of their league with respect to financial, social and even spiritual status. Do not be intimidated, don't count yourself out, if God is in it, it will happen. 

Always remember that this situation is not peculiar to you. 

There are some men in society who have been called to lead and groom strong women, thus far, they are playing that role commendably well. These men are secure in themselves and count it all joy to be chosen to write a story beside a great woman. They know that stifling her greatness will only reduce the quality of their own story so they continue to help her mine to bring out the best in her everyday. They may not be as honoured or widely recognised as their wives but they are content with the very important task and honour of grooming such a rare gift handed to humanity by God. In my opinion, they are the real strong men because it takes one who is unflinchingly secure in who one is to allow someone else fly higher than one is flying without feeling the need to overtake or pull them down.

Women in this category also have a responsibility to God and to the man God has placed/ is placing over them to submit as unto the Lord. It is your responsibility to not make him feel intimidated or do but always appreciate him for being such a good custodian of God's great gift- you!

The same applies in cases where the men are the ones in the front row with the women behind the scenes.

Click here to listen to the Hashtag Sermons

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Rhemz PKay